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August 10, 2011  |  Off Topic

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the city of angels
Lonely as I am, together we cry

I didn’t post yesterday, as I couldn’t – my eyes stared unblinkingly at every news site possible, trawling for information, whilst new horrors seemed to pop up each hour.  Hearing stories of loss and fear, fielding calls from friends were worried about what was happening across the country – is something I never thought that I would experience. I don’t remember ever feeling so unsafe or so scared.  And even now the sound of sirens, which used to be ubiquitous theme music in the city – have taken on a new sensation of menace.

I feel so fond of my asphalt jungle – the concrete and steel may lack the classic beauty of rolling meadows, and the peaceful idyll of chocolate box villages.  But, I always felt safe despite the sense of foreboding others might have felt about the big bad city – these are the streets that I played hop scotch on, walked to school, rode bikes with my friends, had water fights, awkward dates and awkward kisses, and almost every corner of holds a fragment of a memory for me.

Streets as soothing as a hug, and landmarks as comforting as hot chocolate on a bleak winter’s day always gave me a sense of familiarity and security.  I know bad things happen on some of our streets, and nor do I wish to sugar coat the realities of life by trying to rewrite the inner cities as an urban fairytale filled with unicorns and rainbows.  But, I never believed that what we are witnessing would unfold – watching civility implode, and humanity unravel.

I don’t pretend to know all the reasons why this is happening  they are manifold, complex, and painful – and the touch paper that has ignited this wave of desolation and destruction can be picked apart at a later stage.  My heart just goes out to all those who have, been affected across the UK – and though my views are jaundiced – the image for today’s scheming and dreaming gives me hope.  After all a city that has survived the blitz, and 7/7 will surely rise again, and in times where we are filled with despair – there is always a nugget of belief that good will overcome the bad.

Be Safe xxx

The good tends always to outweigh the bad: it just takes longer to get itself organised.
Alain de Botton

If you want to help with clean up after the riots check out Riot cleanup wiki page that has up to date information and links for clean up operations

About the author

I'm the big kahuna with the whole shebang. Amma = Idiot + Savant. Also known as Ams, Amsy, and less frequently Adjubi . Nice to make your acquaintance. I write in the first, second, third and sometimes disembodied person (Bet it will confuse the life out of you).



  1. I’m just so glad you are o.k hun, I hope this all ends soon, love to everyone affected by this in all the cities throughout the U.K . Take care. x
    Tracey recently posted..Non-traditional engagement rings

  2. Very eloquently put, hope you are feeling much safer today and like things are turning around back to the good. Big hugs xxx
    Michelle ~ Pocketful of Dreams recently posted..Let’s get this mess cleaned up…..

  3. Even though I am a grown up seeing all of this makes me want to cry like a baby, it’s just so sad x

  4. I love London too, and can’t believe what we’ve been witnessing the last few days, it’s just so incredibly sad. Well written post as always Amma xx
    louise {bijouxbride} recently posted..love shoot #32: modern jewel {mel & adam}

  5. What a thoughtful, lovely and reflective post Amma. As much as us Londoners may seem unfriendly it’s times like this that we absolutely do come together.

    I also felt the same terror you did – but I’m sat right back at my desk where it all started two days ago on my doorstep in Hackney Central and in some senses of the word things are back to a sort of normality, though we are lucky as for those unfortunate people affected, it might never be.

    I’ll also never forget the kindness of the stranger that selflessly picked me up in his taxi to take me somewhere safe on 7/7. This city is full of surprises. I’m off to listen to the Chilli’s in honour xo
    Charley | London Bride recently posted..[Engaged Anna-Maria + Sakhi] London Bride Styled Shoot – Little Venice

  6. Very well put, hope you’re okay lady xx pRT @beyondbeyond365: London {Up on the blog} http://bit.ly/ojRoVT

  7. its that belief that good will over come bad, is what will get us all through this.x

  8. You’re a beautiful writer and I hope that there is some resolution soon.

  9. Kelly – awww my lovely didn’t mean to make you cry, but yeah keep wanting to cry myself x

    Tracey & Michelle – thanks we are safe and well, just hope that it is safe where you are too x

    Louise – There is so much to love about London, so sad that it has taken this for us all to come together – but at least we are coming together. :-) x

    Charley – Thanks so much for your comment, and you are so right despite the seemingly hard shell, there are so many lovely Londoners x (gotta love the Chilli’s) and more than that so glad you are safe. Hackney looked like a warzone.

    Rabbia – you are right good will overcome in the end x

    C – thank you as always xxx

  10. So beautifully written, I’m tearing up too. My heart goes out to everyone affected. Thank you for sharing that wonderfully positive image and message of community spirit. x
    Elizabeth {Bridal Musings} recently posted..BHLDN’s Latest Bridal Attire: Victoriana Separates

  11. Such a thoughtful and sensitive blog post for a beautiful, inteligent, thoughtful and sensitive writer.

    Thank you for this Amma, you have made me think again about these terribly sad and distressing times.

    Big love to you and your family,

    Annabel xXxXX
    Annabel – Love My Dress Wedding Blog recently posted..Floral Headpiece Goddess ~ A Caroline Castigliano Bride and Cornish Coastline Wedding…

  12. So beautifully written. x

  13. So eloquently written.
    London and Londoners are amazing, and through this, I’m sure we will also see the best in people come through. They already are. xx
    pen recently posted..Sneak Peek: Mr & Mrs Adcock + Finn

  14. Be safe my friend… my thoughts and prayers are with you good people of London… xo
    Brancoprata recently posted..Hello world!

  15. Such a lovely post. I am so sorry that this is happening and I am keeping England in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that this violence ends asap and without further incident. I lived through the L.A. riots in the 90s and I know how terrifying this is. I am glad you are safe and will continue to keep you all in my thoughts.

  16. Such a greatly written post and its sentiments like this and in the comments that show why the good will overcome the bad, because there a lot more positive people who make me proud to live here than idiots.
    Madison recently posted..Real life weddings of the week!

  17. Beautifully written Amma. I’m just an adopted Londoner but I have experienced personally how resilient the British are in the past & have always admired your spirit in times of hardship. That’s one reason I love living here.

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